Wednesday, February 29, 2012


I've been having a lot of fun with this new program I found for editing photos! The description says it can do as much as Photoshop (not!), but it still is really cool. and free.
Its called Photoscape, and I downloaded it from the trusted (Cnet) and I've been messing around with it since yesterday. You can edit photos (lots of filters!), combine photos--overlay, not true Photoshop layers :(-- create animated gifs, and more. Here's some things I was just playing around with...

anyways its pretty cool! Its free so download it ;)

hasta luego Pandaritos! ♪ª£¡♫

Friday, February 24, 2012


I wish I could go back
to the days you used to try to keep me
when you wanted me close to you
and couldn't get enough of me

When our warmth and love
was all we needed to live
you used to cross rivers and mountains to see me

Now you slip into a chosen loneliness
away as far as you can get from me
you push me into uncomfortable silence
where I can't say or do anything to or for you
you don't want it.

You cross rivers to put the water between us
and build mountains I can't cross
Aren't you cold? no.
But you've frozen me in the silent ice of bitter loneliness

Thursday, February 23, 2012

Week 2 Brace Face

I was having a kind of shitty day yesterday so I didn't post but yesterday was 2 weeks with braces.
So many weird malfunctions yesterday. I was taking my daughter to school and the stoplight was not working. I could see the lights perpendicular to me were going from green to green+green arrow, back and forth and back. My light stayed red, I was about the third car in line. I know we all realized this after about 5 minutes. I wasn't about to sit there my whole life make my daughter late to school, so I backed up a few feet, got into the right lane, turned right, then in a beautiful instant flipped a cheecahno u-dturn (you have to read that with the accent) and was on my way again. I thought I was high when I asked my daughter, "is it me or does it seem like we've been sitting at this light for forever?" She confirmed I was not, in fact, high. I love that she just started to be able to determine time and dates and the like, and help a Mama out in these times when I think I'm crazy.

So then I get to work and lo and behold, my letter P wont work. My luck turns out that I have a "p" in my last name/sign on. great. After some troubleshooting of my own, including switching out keyboards, I diagnosed the problem as a software issue. Called the IT, they logged off an open ghost session I have no control of, and voila. On with the rest of my life again. :)

Even though I was in a bad mood most of the rest of the day, I tried not to get too pissed or annoyed, successfully avoided any conflict, and got shit done. I know today'll be a better day--when the only other direction is up--and because I took my crazy pills today. Well, not really they're actually Thyroid hormone pills because 3/4 of my Thyroid gland is GONE. yeah. So I'm kind of a bitch when I am all imbalanced. At least I know why and that I need to be that much more conscientious of taking them in the morning. I never forget them! Been so stressed out lately that some things just spill over. But spilling that over is like blood on the floor. :/

Well here's week 2's update!

 Still crooked, still have scrapes, cuts, and raw parts inside my cheeks but its not AS bad. Just getting used to it, and my mouth is getting tougher. I am still getting new sore spots. Flossing is a pain in the butt, but I hate not flossing so I do it. I brush at least 4x a day, after every time I eat, even snacks. I feel like a constant bad breath, but I ordered a breath spray from Melaleuca, works pretty good. It's kind of like Binaca--remember that stuff? lol. I dont chew gum. Its too hard to. Its also pretty hard to cover my inside hooks with wax. eh.

So yah, I don't think they've moved at all yet. maybe microscopically.

I have a slight complex because my loving bf said he fell in love with all of me, including my teeth, and that he'll think I'll look weird/ugly with straight teeth. Well I think about that too, and I know I'll look great but I understand what he means. I think guys are just crap at seeing potential and I know he'll love me more then not because of my teeth but because we will be that much closer and longer together. And I won't have hooks inside my mouth anymore.
Note to self: Do a working slideshow of my braces progress months 1-6 @6 months with weekly photos. Que bueno idea.

Also, Happy Frigin Birthday SISTAR!!!!! ha ha, you're old! lol jk.... love ya!!!

yep. it was like that, except DOUBLE the ice cream and DOUBLE the fudge.
Thanks for sharing ur Bday with me, Sis! <3

hasta luego Pandaritos! ♪ª£¡♫

Monday, February 13, 2012

Day 6 Update

Hey Y'all. I'm a little less ornery today, which is good. I did, however, have a small cup of coffee (which I rarely do!) just now because I was tired, but overall I'm alright today. My fingers are happy and felt like tapping at some keys for an update.

Here's my zigzag smile (referring to the wires). I'm surprised it doesn't look that bad in pictures. (some reg/not just my teeth pics below)
Like I said I feel pretty good, still sensitive and can't eat normal food, but I tried chewing gum the other day and besides it getting stuck in the inside hooks it wasn't too bad. One thing I can't stand is bad breath and I somehow feel like my breath smells (hence why I chew gum constantly) but it probably doesn't. I'm just paranoid about that. The only bad breath I dont mind is my Hunny's, but that's really just all love. haha.

ziggy marley zaggy!

I also eat like a cow. See-food!

Power chains and all...can you hear the chainsaw? rennnnrennnrennnnnnrrrr!!!
I dont get why there's no wire or attachment to the backmost side (bottom right) is cutting into my cheek, too. So why couldn't they put those on when they actually needed them? no se.

So yep. I am going to plan on a weekly update, since teeth move pretty fast. I want the whole progress on this blog! I know I will want to look back a year, two years from now and see how much they've moved!! yay!

Random Poker Night pic. oh yah!
Me n my Baby

hasta luego Pandaritos! ♪ª£¡♫

Friday, February 10, 2012

Why. WHY?!?

WHY did no one tell me I was going to have canker sores on every corner and surface of the inside of my mouth? WHY did no one tell me they were going to fuckin HURT? my teeth? fine, sensitive, but just fine. my cheeks inside? could no one have thought to mention this??

WHY did no one tell me I'd have HOOKS on the bands on the INSIDE of my back four teeth, making it virtually impossible to perform unmentionable bedroom and, may I add VERY IMPORTANT, tasks!??? W.T.F!!! NO one really thought these were imperatives in my decision to get braces? really, NO ONE??

This shit better get better or... or... or else!!! >:[

Now I will painfully continue to eat my borracho and mucho mango arizona. As a huge canker sore gets caught on a wire each and every time I open and close my mouth, like a jump rope getting stuck on a stone each time it passes the ground. yeah, you have no idea.

Thursday, February 9, 2012

Brace Face!

Here they are! I am a crap blogger because I got them yesterday, but there was too much going on and I had to go to work after and I didn't get a chance to post. Ni Modo! (Oh well!) I am not in very much pain at all. I actually think the spacers I had were more painful, so far. Tons of metal in my mouth, it mashes up the inside of your cheeks pretty good. That's why they give you wax to put over the brackets but it will NOT stick to the backest ones its so annoying. I look like I got botox on my lips. I try to talk normal but there's a little fluffy part of my sounds sometimes.better than a major lisp or an unintentional whistle...

It is a special Hunny Day today because it is his birthday today! :)
So a big shout out to the love of my life, handsome and fit man
with a big heart. I love you Daddy.

We'll be going to El Pescador this weekend, and then spending time with the familia in LA.
I had a whole bunch of surprises planned for him, but I know I am not the only one whose income tax refund check is delayed. It was said that taxes filed on or after the 20th of January were the ones getting held, but mine actually went through on the 19th, so I dont know what the hell.
It's OK, the surprises will have to wait...but they WILL come. :)

More later...

EDIT: I need some Strawberry Kiwi Sherbert.

hasta luego Pandaritos! ♪ª£¡♫

Friday, February 3, 2012


Reciprocation: a) a mutual exchange, b) a return in kind or of like value, and c) an alternating motion.
It's Give and Take. It's you do for others, others do for you or at least pass it on.

How long will I choose to make another person a priority in my life when they choose not to make me a priority in their life?

I feel such a fool.

Edit: on an unrelated note, my teeth fuckin hurt. And I don't even have the braces yet, just spacers. They are moving my teeth so I am assuming it will feel like this ALL over my mouth when I get them on... I can't eat. It's seriously so painful. But, alas,

Thursday, February 2, 2012

braces update #3

Today I got spacers in between all my back molars... They are little round plastic thingies they floss through that create space so when they put bands around the molars there'll be enough space in there. My teeth are so squished together it was pretty hard for the dental assistant to get them in!! Considering I JUST got four teeth pulled and my mouth is still hella sore it kinda frigin hurt. I didnt make a big deal about it because the office is like an open office with chairs in a circular room and little kids were getting their teeth done too. I spared them my pirate language, cause I'm totally courteous like that.
Here's what they look like :)

See the little white lines between my back molars? yep that's the spacers. Sorry for the nasty holes where they pulled my teeth out are. they're nasty for even me to look at. Yea anyways they dont feel bad just like little rubbery things that I can feel when I bite down a lil. I keep bouncing my bite on them, haha. There's 8 in: between each of my molars.

Sometimes when people have the spacers, they can come out, in which case they have to put them back in. So obvi no gum or sticky junk like caramel or the like. I am SO hating life without gum. I am an obsessive gum chewer. >:/

What I am really happy about are a couple things:
1. The DA said my teeth are going to move very quickly.!!!! My canines aka Vampire teeth will be moving into the right place in about a month. WOW! frigin awesome! I saw in ashmariee94's youtube channel, she has SUCH a similar tooth layout and her canines moved very fast. So I am very confirmed about this.

2. I moved my brace day up -- to next wednesday the 8th!! Originally it was for the 14th (yes, I realize this was valentines day). But I just really dont want to wait that long, and dont have to, so, I wont! durrr! YAY so excited. I know anyone who's been through orthodontics and is reading this will probably understand that a) it's quite a -sometimes long- process, and b) you kind of just want to get it over with already! Right?

The spacers should give enough room for bands in one week. The bands are put on so that the can attach the brackets (braces) to them, since the brackets would not really stick very well just to your molars. I think one reason is because molars aren't really flat like our front teeth are; they have that little valley in them, ya know?

Here's a couple pics of the massive GAPS from the extractions. yes, you should look because it's the kind that is "pretty gross yet you can't look away from it"
Yep. Massive.

I decided to walk to my appt today, since I work about 2 miles from the ortho office, it was a beautiful day, and because I haven't gotten to work out hard for the last couple days since you can't right after getting teeth extracted. The dentist said my gaps are healing real well though so I can work out again. Good! I only had to take a couple days off. I'm not a workout freak, but I am on the slimfast diet (for losing weight and because of the soft-food diet I'm on from my teeth treatments). ANYways... wow tangent. talk about blah blah.
So on my way to the office, I actually ran into the two ortho Dr's Dr White and Dr Grube coming back from their lunch, I assume. We stopped to chat for a second (they are super nice and are so excited for me to be able to finally get my braces!). They said they were just talking about me recently because I have "such a great personality and my outcome is going to be so amazing" ;) Man, if they need an employee I'm gonna let them know because I LOVE their office too! They are very excited for me to say the least. :) Believe me, I AM TOO!! I told them I am blogging about my journey and that I sure am dropping their names too. hehe :)

I wanted to do a video today of my update, but I'm still too shy to be a tv personality yet. Funny, since I was named after a newscaster. irrelevant? probably. but that's Pandar. I throw random shit in there just to keep it Pandar.

I took some meds cause them dientes still hurt, so...

hasta luego Pandaritos! ♪ª£¡♫

Progress!! teeth out!

Hey what's up my whole two subscribers! yay! hehe

This past Tuesday I went to the DDS who was doing my extractions. My bf and I were sitting in the waiting room and I was just filling out a form when he asks, "Is your office this boring?" (I work in a Dr back office) haha. naw, I gots my musik and the copier is my friend who whispers to me in low tones.
Anywho I had taken valium about a half hour before the procedure bc I'm a total wimp when it comes to my teeth. Then I got a call from a company I applied for and set up an interview for the next day. While I was outside on the phone I ran into someone I knew and chatted for a little while, then all of a sudden I feel the valiums kick in. Normally I take them for sleep (yes they were prescribed to me for this, I am not advocating rx drugs, kids.), so standing up was really weird and I was getting rather loopy. I fb'd her the next day explaining sorry I was all out of it, as I'm sure she could tell. haha. how embarassing.
I end my conversation and the dental assistant calls me in. The Doc does an aMAzing job on the anesthesia shots (I am AWAKE for this, by the way), and I chill for a minute til my lips are fat, but I get the hiccups. Great timing. The DA comes in and shows me a way to get rid of them instantly!!!! I had never heard of this and IT WORKS. Ain't no holding ur breath/drinking upside down/swallow a spoonful of sugar crap. This is the real deal. Because WHO LIKES HICCUPS!?? I know right! Damn them! Maybe I'll fit in this little tidbit of random knowledge in my video later.... stay tuned.

So yah. I had bigass gaps in my mouth but it's all good because you cant even see them when I smile! awesomeness. And I got some more drugs out of it. its win win!

Also, I'm one of those I Google Every Damn Thing people so I found a youtube video of a chik who has almost the same teeth as me and she's got braces now! I think she does a really good job of explaining and showing her teeth, so I'm blog-"like"ing her channel! Please check her out! ashmariee94's channel!

hasta luego Pandaritos! ♪ª£¡♫