Thursday, May 24, 2012

My Blog is MOVING soon!

I am in the process of moving my blog to WordPress... Be patient with me!

more later...

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Fearlessly anticipate happiness!

Well its Tuesday and so far so good. I am paying attention to each time I start worrying about the next moment by letting those thoughts just go. I don't want my enjoyment of the present moment be ruined by any negative anticipation of future events or feelings. I don't want to allow room in my mind, heart, or spirit for worry.
I can't remember where I saw this, but there was a definition of worry that I liked and I can't remember exactly verbatim, but my translation was: "Worry is fear caused by anticipation of pain." True story.

So I fearlessly anticipate happiness today. I extend that challenge to you too!

Went and saw The Avengers last night. Cannot even tell you how cool it was. Best super hero action movie EVER. :)

Awwww yeah buddy!

hasta luego Pandaritos! ♪ยช£¡♫

Friday, May 4, 2012

Dont think...Do.

I am at a turning point in my life right now. There have been a lot of difficult things I have been dealing with. Personal demons, if you will. You know when you sense something is really out of balance or you're kind of fighting against something that you can't quite put your finger on? Well I've felt like that for about 2 years. It has brought my happiness, sleep patterns, ability to function, sense of security, and hope to an all time low/dysfunctional state. I have not felt like myself for that long. I have fallen "victim" time and time again to depression, anger/aggression for no reason, insomnia, uncalled-for outbursts, and turning against my family and my relationships. I believe I have been in a battle that is keeping me from a deeper relationship with the Lord, and with the people in my life. I have hurt a lot of people, including myself. I have been fighting myself because I hate what these demons have turned me into.

Well. I am tired of fighting. I am tired of fighting an invisible enemy.

Whatever unrest and disassociation I've been experiencing for the past two years needs to step down. I deserve to be happy. I have no reason to be insecure about myself, where I am going, or what I am able to accomplish. I am going back to the state of peace I had during the time I found my true self. It was not too long ago to recall. I remember how I felt. I remember how I acted. I remember how I dealt with things. I was constantly happy. Yes there were many times I cried or felt so lonely. But I was genuinely happy. I was content with who I was.
That is me. Not the person who has felt the need to fight against everything, including myself. Not the girl who questions everything. Not the person who is afraid of what the day will bring.
I am not afraid. If God is for me, WHO can be against me? The people who love me sure aren't against me. I am fighting the wrong people and cause. Well I am done fighting with myself!

So, here's to a new chapter in my life. A chapter of hope, happiness, faith, strength, peace, joy, contentment, family, love, determination.

I'm already happy.