Wednesday Wants and other random thoughts

At the risk of appearing completely selfish, spoiled, and shallow, I'm gonna share some things that I want in my life. Its a good thing that those who know me know that I am fortunately not selfish, spoiled, or shallow. :) Well maybe a little spoiled, but that's because I live in America, the land of greed and excess.

Without further disclaimer, here's the stuff!

Nikon Coolpix S4300 16 MP Digital Camera with 6x Zoom NIKKOR Glass Lens and 3-inch Touchscreen LCD

Pretty nice!!! It's only $160 :) We'll see if next month's budget allows me this luxury. I like taking pics with my iphone, but it would be really nice to have better quality as I love to take pictures! In my other life I am a photographer...  

I mean, who can argue with me here? It's a PANDAR iPHONE COVER.

'nuff said. :)

Magic Mountain

X2

Pandar = self-proclaimed Adrenaline Junkie

I may end up going BY MYSELF if I am such a loser I don't have friends no one can go soon.

~~~
And other random thoughts...

My first braces adjustment is tomorrow. I'm not sure if I should be excited or nervous? My teeth started hurting (not bad, just sensitive and sore a lil) last week, so I'm hoping (!) it won't hurt that bad after. I also think my teeth are going to continue to get WORSE before they get better (straighter). Little gaps are showing up, and I'm still not sure if my teeth have such a great shape that, even when they're super straight, I will be as happy as I first thought. I'm hoping I'm just tripping and need to just chill the eff out be patient. But to me, right now, they look definitely worse.

I haven't had the capacity to give a shit about a lot of things lately...

I'm tired of people trying to negatively affect my environment and my attitude just to get a reaction out of me--a problem usually solved by not giving a shit, and just going into PandarWorld of reading quietly, listening to music, going on walks, hearing sermons from Reality,  cooking, minding my own damn business etc.
 Includes coworkers, family/exfamily, the IRS...

I DO care about my priorities:
1. Divorce/Custody issues
2. Being a student of the Bible and an obedient woman of God
3. Not getting stressed out from the bullshit that happens every day at my workplace (more importantly, not taking any stress home to my family)
4. A healthy diet and more consistent workouts (when I work out I like to go hard or go home, but sometimes I need to be content with some yoga/stretching/walking in lieu of putting on 5 layers and sweating my ass off with p90x or 6 mi runs)

Some things that I am having to keep on the back burner - regretfully:
1. Music (playing, writing, learning new pieces)
2. Getting my tan on for summer (being a lazy butt on the beach all weekend)
3. Reading my books
4. Working on my blog (I actually have had my own URL for a while now but have not transferred my blog because I have not yet learned enough of what I need to know to maintain my future website)

Seeking balance in life
inside to outside
internal to external
quiet to chaos
calm to stress
giving to taking
acceptance to restlessness
talking to listening
understanding to being understood
work to play
rest to exertion
joy to anger
justice to injustice
peace to distress
faith to ignorance

hasta luego Pandaritos! ♪ª£¡♫

Dont live a half life - courtesy of Positively Present

Positively Present - words to live by: Dont Live a Half Life
Had to post this from one of the blogs I follow (and love!)

Please share!

Do not love half lovers
Do not entertain half friends
Do not indulge in works of the half talented
Do not live half a life and do not die a half death

If you choose silence, then be silent

When you speak, do so until you are finished
Do not silence yourself to say something
And do not speak to be silent

If you accept, then express it bluntly
Do not mask it

If you refuse then be clear about it 
for an ambiguous refusal
is but a weak acceptance

Do not accept half a solution

Do not believe half truths

Do not dream half a dream

Do not fantasize about half hopes

Half a drink will not quench your thirst

Half a meal will not satiate your hunger

Half the way will get you no where

Half an idea will bear you no results

Your other half is not the one you love
It is you in another time yet in the same space

It is you when you are not

Half a life is a life you didn't live,
A word you have not said

A smile you postponed
A love you have not had
A friendship you did not know

To reach and not arrive
Work and not work

Attend only to be absent

What makes you a stranger to them closest to you

and they strangers to you

The half is a mere moment of inability

but you are able for you are not half a being

You are a whole that exists
to live a life not half a life

Gibran Khalil Gibran

hasta luego Pandaritos! ♪ª£¡♫

The Hunger Games

I'm not going to be able to put this book down. I read the first three chapters last night unstoppably, to the slight dismay/content of my HunnyBear; I told him if he ever wants space and for me to leave him alone for a while, just get me a new book. and that *hint, hint* there are two more books in this series. :)

 

You may also notice that there is also a rack of Costco ribs, FTW. :) I also like tomatoes. (errrnt)

I seriously cant wait to get home JUST to read my book. and my hunny better KHURRYAP with the sequel, cause I'm gonna want it right away!! YAY

Last GREAT book I read was The Help. What was your last good book? What are you reading now?

hasta luego Pandaritos! ♪ª£¡♫

braces update #3

Today I got spacers in between all my back molars... They are little round plastic thingies they floss through that create space so when they put bands around the molars there'll be enough space in there. My teeth are so squished together it was pretty hard for the dental assistant to get them in!! Considering I JUST got four teeth pulled and my mouth is still hella sore it kinda frigin hurt. I didnt make a big deal about it because the office is like an open office with chairs in a circular room and little kids were getting their teeth done too. I spared them my pirate language, cause I'm totally courteous like that.
Here's what they look like :)

See the little white lines between my back molars? yep that's the spacers. Sorry for the nasty holes where they pulled my teeth out are. they're nasty for even me to look at. Yea anyways they dont feel bad just like little rubbery things that I can feel when I bite down a lil. I keep bouncing my bite on them, haha. There's 8 in: between each of my molars.

Sometimes when people have the spacers, they can come out, in which case they have to put them back in. So obvi no gum or sticky junk like caramel or the like. I am SO hating life without gum. I am an obsessive gum chewer. >:/


What I am really happy about are a couple things:
             
1. The DA said my teeth are going to move very quickly.!!!! My canines aka Vampire teeth will be moving into the right place in about a month. WOW! frigin awesome! I saw in ashmariee94's youtube channel, she has SUCH a similar tooth layout and her canines moved very fast. So I am very confirmed about this.



2. I moved my brace day up -- to next wednesday the 8th!! Originally it was for the 14th (yes, I realize this was valentines day). But I just really dont want to wait that long, and dont have to, so, I wont! durrr! YAY so excited. I know anyone who's been through orthodontics and is reading this will probably understand that a) it's quite a -sometimes long- process, and b) you kind of just want to get it over with already! Right?

The spacers should give enough room for bands in one week. The bands are put on so that the can attach the brackets (braces) to them, since the brackets would not really stick very well just to your molars. I think one reason is because molars aren't really flat like our front teeth are; they have that little valley in them, ya know?


Here's a couple pics of the massive GAPS from the extractions. yes, you should look because it's the kind that is "pretty gross yet you can't look away from it"
Yep. Massive.



I decided to walk to my appt today, since I work about 2 miles from the ortho office, it was a beautiful day, and because I haven't gotten to work out hard for the last couple days since you can't right after getting teeth extracted. The dentist said my gaps are healing real well though so I can work out again. Good! I only had to take a couple days off. I'm not a workout freak, but I am on the slimfast diet (for losing weight and because of the soft-food diet I'm on from my teeth treatments). ANYways... wow tangent. talk about blah blah.
So on my way to the office, I actually ran into the two ortho Dr's Dr White and Dr Grube coming back from their lunch, I assume. We stopped to chat for a second (they are super nice and are so excited for me to be able to finally get my braces!). They said they were just talking about me recently because I have "such a great personality and my outcome is going to be so amazing" ;) Man, if they need an employee I'm gonna let them know because I LOVE their office too! They are very excited for me to say the least. :) Believe me, I AM TOO!! I told them I am blogging about my journey and that I sure am dropping their names too. hehe :)

I wanted to do a video today of my update, but I'm still too shy to be a tv personality yet. Funny, since I was named after a newscaster. irrelevant? probably. but that's Pandar. I throw random shit in there just to keep it Pandar.

I took some meds cause them dientes still hurt, so...

hasta luego Pandaritos! ♪ª£¡♫

Pandar loves music





Took a mini-vacation last night about an hour south for some Me time and to get a pretty sweet f'n bike (since mine was stolen months ago). I love driving, by myself, going somewhere far, and losing myself in my favorites playlist. I was inspired to want to post at least one song/video/lyrics on here since music is SO much a part of my life, and sharing it is just as important to me.

I thought this recent post from 1000awesomethings.com was right appropriate! Its so me.
Playing Music so loud you lose yourself in it

Fo sho!

(photo)

I am strong. I am peaceful.
I am firmly planted on The Rock.

Making Pandar Progress! Birthday!

Last week I got kinda discouraged when I'd run, from stitches and because my millions of layers creep on my neck and try to rear naked choke me. But I kept pressing and trying to run through the sideaches and running with my phone (music/gps trackers are musts!) in my sweatshirt front pocket so the collar left me alone. It worked and I've scored PRs the last two runs. I still am not a great runner and I'm hella slow but you gotta start somewhere, right? Even though my run this morning was only 2.blah blah miles, I set my mind to go the whole time, and met that goal. Law of Attraction and Positive Thinking fmw :)

 
My pace is getting gradually faster! I always walk the first 5 minutes to warm up so I tried to add that extra 1/4 mile. I'm amazed that people run like 8-9 minute splits! Gives me something to work towards fo sho. It's also hard to go every single day (which I'd like) cause cupcakes life happens.

Birthday Update!
Birthday Cupcakes!!
Red Velvet, Hershey's Kiss in the center, Dark Chocolate Frosting, Rainbow Sprinkles, and Trader Joe's Sugar Choco Mint grinder sprinkles. Quadruple yum. 'Nother win! Thanks Sistar!!


Happy Birthday to meeeee!!!! :)
happy happy joy joy
whooo hooo
and Yeahhhhhhh....BUDDY!
Night Bitches!

Pandar has a Birthday

Well, I first have to say that I love my family and that my Hunny is amazing. I know that just being able to be with them they are going to make my birthday this year awesome. :) I'm the kind of person who is happy not doing anything "special" for my birthday, as long as I get to be with those special people in my life. I'll be totally cliche honest when I say their presence is a gift!!

I kind of pretty much already decided what I want to do for my barfday at this point, but I'm going to  draw it out as long as possible because a) I can, and b) I can. Muahahaha!

Since I have my lil girl with me (yay!) on saturday (my actual birthDay), and my Hunny is working (sorry babe!), it gives me the perfect opportunity to have a girl day! So my lovely Sistar invited us to make delicious Red Velvet birthday Cupcakes!! I suggested Cream Cheese frosting filling. I'm kind of thinking more towards chocolate though. Cause, duh! why not! Everything's better in CHOColate! ;)

THEN, I'll totally relax and/or go for a sunny run on Sunday. Monday I took the day off, because I can. And I want to go to Magic again :) (sorry Hunny!) I have to go on X2 with my eyes open the WHOLE time. lol. I've made it a goal for my 27th year, so why not start on that right away?

THEN, because my hunny is aMAzing, he's going to take me to Sushi :) (sorry Hunny! lol) My Love doesnt really like sushi (but he WILL someday muahahaha), so I found this place in LA called Sushi Dan's and they have American food, but the sushi menu looks incredible!! There's one in Studio City so that's not too far. I think maybe I saw it in CityWalk? (confirm/deny?) And I'm pretty sure I wanted to check it out.

THEN, because my Hunny really is an overachiever, he has some other surprises too :) You can get your mind out of the gutter although you can bet your sweet beans there will be some hot gutter-action too, but that's not what I was gonna say, you cochinos. More like perfume cause I never shower so I can smell as good as he always does, and maybe some zapatos blancos because it's another thing I have to keep clean I dont have any white shoes besides my runners, and let's just say they're not exactly "white" anymore. :) But I'm most excited to spend a day with him (plus dinner) and actually have just the two of us [no kids] next week for my birthday week)! Uh oh. I feel a song coming on...

That's for you, Hunny. lol

Course I'll have to show him my dedication song later because he's a self-proclaimed illiterate jagger he prefers me to read things to him. His favorite is when I read The Bitchy Waiter to him, while we're eating in a restaurant. He is also a waiter and always says, "But that is SO true!!" or "That's not even an exaggeration!!" or "People are REALLY like that!!" You know you love you some bitchy waiter.

CAN'T WAIT!!!!

Power of Pandar Positivity

I am committing myself today to a Positive Life.

Today and every day. I am burying the innate or learned negativity I've practiced battled for 26 years. Life is way too short and precious to retain past mistakes and the guilt associated with them, negative attitudes, jealousy, anger, pain, grudges, and any and all other negative emotions or feelings in my life. I am throwing away the belief I had previously kept about "there are no negative emotions" ("just ones you learn from"). That is BS, and it's not working for me. There ARE negative emotions. Negative emotions are any feelings that send you further from your goals, that isolate yourself or the people you love, or that affect yourself and others in a *negative* (or defeating) way.

I am committing to rid my thoughts, actions, and beliefs of negativity. I am going to accomplish that by allowing, inviting, and insisting that only positive thoughts, actions, and beliefs dwell in me as a person. When negative thoughts enter my mind, I commit to be realistic but replace them with positive thoughts so that my actions and beliefs will be wholly positive. I have control of my thoughts, actions, and beliefs, and I can make them positive simply by choice. It may be difficult to see, but I believe that I can find AT LEAST one positive thing about ANY situation, and that is what I am committing to do. From this day forward.

I will start by replacing any negative thoughts about myself with positive affirmations!

I am smart

I am creative

I am patient

I am loving

I am silly

I am POSITIVE

I am healthy

I am a great mom

I am whole

I am faithful

I am giving

I am grateful

I am proud
I am generous

I am kind

I am thoughtful

I am organized

I am clean

I am happy

I am a good example

I am always learning

I am beautiful

I am complete

I am conscientious

I am good

I am talented

I am musical

I am sweet

I am determined

I am independent
I am strong

I am aware

I am able to laugh

I am growing

I am peaceful

I am spirited

I am full of life

I am flexible

I am joyful

I am awesome :)

I am a good time

I am able to have fun

I am present

I am a good listener

I am getting better every day

I am great with kids

I am gentle

I am gracious

I am forgiving

I am lovely

I am a good influence

I am able to conquer ANYTHING

I am a good cook

I am colorful

I am bright

I am a lady

I am sexy

I am fashionable

I am modest

I am sensible

I am frugal

I am affectionate

I am wholesome

I am fun

I am excited

I am looking forward to so much in life

Who knows? This blog may become a sunshine out the ass positivity blog! lol. maybe....